Fatigue and Irrational Fears

This has already been a pretty exhausting week, and I'm not even over the hump yet. Right after posting this, I'm going to curl up with this version of Pride and Prejudice and then go to sleep -- but not without entertaining you with my Top! Irrational! Fears! (all of which are fetus-centered, as that eclipses everything else for me right now)

1. Pre-term labor and delivery: still way up there, especially now that I'm having what Jonathan playfully calls Toni Braxton contractions.

2. Having to have a c-section: there are two reasons I might have to have one. 1.) he's breech; and 2.) I failed my glucose tolerance test, so I might have gestational diabetes, which can result in macrosomia, or high birth weight. If he's too big, a c-section might be necessary. Now I know that, first, he might flip on his own, and second, I might pass that three-hour glucose tolerance test on Thursday morning with no problems. Even if I don't pass and I do have GD, I am going to follow that diet to the letter, so macrosomia may not be a problem in any case. From what I understand, macrosomia becomes a risk only with poor management of GD.

Here's why I'm scared of a c-section, though. I realize that they don't take a hatchet and chop into my abdomen. They are careful to cut through the layers one at a time: skin, abdominal muscle, uterine muscle. BUT: what if they cut my little boy?! How do they keep from doing that?

3. The doctor or nurses' dropping FG as soon as he's out: no matter how he ends up coming out, this could happen. I'm sure they'll be careful with him, but what if they slip on a wet patch of floor?

4. FG's getting stuck in the birth canal and having a stroke: this happened to the daughter of a friend of mine from college. I believe she's okay now, but it took A LOT of physical therapy and other work.

5. Not being able to lactate: because there is just nothing anyone can do about that. I mentioned this to my doctor, and he said there is a drug they can give to accelerate prolactin production, but that it doesn't work all the time.


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On the c-section


I'll tell you what I know about it because I had two. The first was emergency c-section which meant that I went in by myself. I was put under general, and I did agree to it in writing, but I was already on drugs when they asked me sign it. I remember nothing. I woke up much later.

The second c-section was voluntary b/c of the first and because I had BP problems. I didn't feel a thing. Brit thought it was cool to watch. It was traumatic for a number of irrelevant reasons (to your post), but the point is that it was not painful. If it does come to this, I mean.

Don't worry about lactation. It's so natural. Worrying doesn't help. Just relax.

Your baby wants you to be relaxed. (I'm sure you've heard this.) The best thing you can do is chill out about your itemized list above. Just relax. It's important that you do that.

OK, there's my unsolicited two cents worth.

You will be fine. And you

You will be fine. And you will have so many more worries once he's out. Trust me. This actual infant thing will make c-section fears seem minor. Bad things won't happen to you during delivery. They just won't. And c-sections aren't so terrible. After my awful labor, I started thinking it would have been better.

The lactation thing will be so not a problem. You'll be leaking through shirts and the whole messy ball of wax. But V never latched, so I couldn't breastfeed anyway. I know I'm not supposed to say this, but it honestly was't the disaster that I feared. She's a smart, happy, healthy girl.


I just don't want them to cut FG during the c-section. It seems like it would be so easy to do by accident. But I guess the same could be said for anything, right? How do they keep from cutting vital organs when removing other stuff that's right next to those organs? The fact that the baby's moving under there kind of adds another variable to it, however.

I don't care what happens to me. I'm big and strong enough that whatever could happen to me can't possibly be that bad. He's so little and vulnerable, though. Michelle -- I know you're right and he wants me to be relaxed; I'm glad you reminded me. I'm going to watch Pride and Prejudice for real now.

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