Serious Research

Do you ever, when walking in crowded areas, pretend to talk to someone on your cell phone so that no one will try to talk to you? I'll confess, I do it every day. I had always thought of these as my nonversations. However, upon trying to corroborate this using Urban Dictionary, I found that I was wrong:

1. nonversation
When you're sitting at a table full of people (pref. boisterous and social) but you're between two conversations, and no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to get into either of them.

So you end up staring at your drink.

Sad.

Alone.

"Hey Rod, why so quiet?"

"Wha--? Oh sorry -- I'm stuck in the nonversation over here."

2. nonversation
When 2 or more people are together but not talking. Or when a group of people are talking together, but one or more of them is sitting in silence.

*silence*

Thats a nonversation.

What I'm really engaged in is a cell faux:

1. cell faux
Pretending to be engaged in a cell phone call so as to avoid someone or something.

noun: A device that pretends to be a cell phone

verb: Pretending to use a cell phone that is not turned on.

She was so intent on avoiding her worst enemy in the same theater queue that she pretended to be chatting on her cell faux the entire time.