Something's wrong with me

I've had a splitting headache for several days that won't go away. It's terrible, to the point that it's making me feel disoriented and tired.

I'm so hot that the small of my back is sweating all the time, practically, and it's November in Minnesota.

My hair is driving me nuts, and I want to shave it all off. I am thisclose to doing it!

I wish I could afford to get acupuncture. :-(