Dude, who put a screw in YOUR spring roll?

The day before yesterday, after an all-around abysmal experience flying with US Airways which involved a missed connecting flight (it was their fault but they were still RUDE as could be about it), a flight attendant from hell, and deferred checked luggage that I had to go back to the airport to get (note to self: Never check luggage again), a friend and I went out for Thai food at one of our favorite restaurants. We ordered spring rolls as an appetizer, and as I bit eagerly into one, I felt something hard. I looked, and there was a SCREW in my spring roll!! Of all things! Kind of like this but shorter and not pointed:




They didn't even give us our meal for free. They brought us more spring rolls, didn't charge us for those, and apologized, but we had to pay for our entrees. What a terrible day it was. Anyway, as a result, I'm trying to introduce "Who put a screw in YOUR spring roll?" as a variant of "Who pissed in YOUR Cheerios?" So start using it; I haven't been that successful so far in introducing expressions. Some time ago I tried to get people to use the term "stool sample" as a negative term for a person, like "That guy at US Airways was a total stool sample." You don't have to curse or invoke a gendered slur that way.