Three Dreams

I've once again been having especially vivid dreams that stick with me throughout the following day, narrated here for your amusement and interpretation. The first two are from the night before last; the third is from last night:

New Mexico

I'm in a bus. There are people on the bus, but I don't know any of them. It's a little like Nightmare on Elm St. II, Freddy's Revenge, when Freddy is driving the bus, but not as scary. I ask someone, "Where are we?"

The person says, "New Mexico."

I look out the window and see a reddish landscape resembling a freshly plowed field, with small hills and valleys and lots of rocks. Perched atop some of the hills and rocks are ominous-looking Mayan and Aztec statues. There are also some gnarled shrubs, dried up, with no leaves.

"I hate New Mexico!" I declare to no one in particular.

The bus stops and we get out. Someone leads me to where I'll be staying. It's a rundown cabin with swarms of flying insects inside. I'm horrified. All of a sudden, Scott is standing beside me. He says, "Yeah, those flies'll get you."

Osmosis

I'm in the University bookstore. I see a former student from the first-year comp class I taught in Fall 2002. We chat, and I notice that he's buying several books on Shakespeare as well as Kenneth Burke's Language as Symbolic Action.

"What class are you buying that for?" I ask.

"Oh, just some class. The professor is having us memorize parts of it," he said.

"Oh! I used to have to memorize stuff for classes. In high school biology class, I had to memorize the definition of osmosis."

I then launch into the definition. This guy is obviously in a hurry and irritated with me, but I can't help myself.

"Osmosis is the diffusion of water through a selectively permeable membrane from an area of greater concentration of water to an area of lesser concentration of water.

"But wait! I can do it in a Valley Girl accent too!" So I do it in a Valley Girl accent.

"Oh yeah, and I can do it in a British accent too!" I do it yet again in a British accent. I'm being incredibly annoying but can't stop. The former student walks off as I'm doing the British accent. I think to myself, wow, I'm really good at these accents!

Failing the Maternity Test

For some reason, I agree to submit to a new test. It's a scientific breakthrough, a test women can take that will measure your potential success or failure as a parent. Two other women are taking the test with me: Kate Hudson and one of my professors who shall remain unnamed. They have to take a pint of blood to do the test, so they take it from each of us. The measurements are on a 100-point scale, like grades. 90-100 is an A, and so on. The professor and Kate both ace the test. My score? 10. The scientist announces my results in front of a bunch of people, and I'm not heartbroken about it or anything, but I'm utterly humiliated to have failed. I protest: "It's not fair! Kate Hudson already has a child!"

Yes, I know, I'm experiencing anxiety.